Today marks three weeks of our visit at the nicu, and there's no end in sight..... I try to stay positive for Jaela, but I'm starting to lose hope. The surgeon stopped by today and he doesn't really want to put the feeding tube in her side. He says she's too small, but for now the amount of food she's getting is only enough to maintain her weight. It's not enough to gain. But her stomach can't handle any more fluid. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost the fight.
The battle is never over. As long as we have little Jaela, we will continue the fight. We love her and she knows it. You and Jeremy love her and she knows it and feels it. She is a little fighter. We have a strong hope here on earth and for the eternities. The prayers and support are endless. Draw from that strength. We love you guys.
ReplyDeleteMom B.
Dear Stacey and Jeremy,
ReplyDeleteMelissa linked us up to Jaela’s BLOG and I hope that is OK. We anxiously await each post and have been praying and fasting and cheering and crying with you all along the way. This morning I am crying as I read last night’s post, as I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this roller coaster ride must be for you.
I want you to know that you two and your sweet little Princess Jaela are amazing and you are a blessing to us all. I feel sure that everyone who meets little Jaela will find it love at first sight, just like I did. You can feel her courageous, valiant, and beautiful little spirit the minute you enter the room and you don’t ever want to leave her. Please know that we are pleading with the Lord with all of our hearts that you will have the strength that you need as her parents to carry on and to continue to be guided and directed as to what is best for her. You are doing such a beautiful, beautiful job of caring for her under such trying circumstances. We are also pleading with all of our hearts that miracles will continue to happen for little Jaela, and that she will be able to eat and grow and thrive and continue to be a blessing to all who come in contact with her.
I am sending you much, much love from all of we Shookies! Know that you are in our every thought and prayer!
Lynette
I feel so bad I haven't been leaving comments the last two days. I've been working on Valentine & Birthday surprises (which you should be receiving in 3-5 business days :)) but that's no excuse. Kate says "you are very welcome" to Jaela (for letting her borrow her "my daddy loves me" jammas :))Jaela looks so cute and tiny in them... and very "Valentine-y" :)
ReplyDeleteOk, so I have an idea! When Kate was a newborn she would nurse practically all day! She would just sleep and eat as I held her. I wonder if something like that would work for Jaela? Maybe she needs to eat smaller amounts more frequently because her little tummy is so small? Also, I know it's hard, but I see it as a blessing that the Dr. said she was too small for the feeding tube. What if he wasn't doing his job correctly and gave her the feeding tube anyway and it ended up being a bad thing? I'm so glad we fasted for the Dr's to do what is truly best for Jaela. Our prayers are being answered! As I read your post all I could think of was Elder Uchtdorf's talk "The Infinite Power of Hope".
http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/the-infinite-power-of-hope?lang=eng&query=uchtdorf+hope
I love the last portion entitled "Hope From Personal Experience" He lists a lot of really good scriptures on hope.
I wish there was something more I could do for you. We will arrive two weeks from yesterday so at least we can be closer to you! If there is anything at all we can do to give you more strength PLEASE let us know!!! We love you guys so much & are so sorry for this awful roller coaster ride they keep sending us on. Please know we are here for you if ever you need us!
PS. HAPPY 3 WEEK BIRTHDAY (yesterday:))JAELA!!!
Don't give up the fight. Jaela needs her mommy. I know she thrives off of your love and it gives her strength. She feels of your power and your faith. She is living for YOU! She loves YOU! Cry out to The Lord and he will carry you. He already has. Most people could never do what you and Jeremy are doing. You are stronger than you think. Continue to rely on The Lord especially when you lose hope. And because you are only human, you fill that way at times but let The Lord bring you peace.
ReplyDeleteSorry to post again but I saw the talk that Melissa posted for you above and it reminded me of another talk. In the same conference Elder Wirthlin gave a talk called, Come What May, and Love it. When I lost my baby I read this talk and the one in which Melissa is referring, over and over. They brought me so much peace. Here is the link. I hope they can bring you peace as well.
ReplyDeletehttp://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng
I love how he says, "...While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."
I know you guys have shed a lot of tears over baby Jaela, but remember they will be be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing.
Hang in there you guys. I hope you can find some solace from these talks as I did when I went through a difficult time.